


The Marriage Pact

by t_dragon



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Unhappy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-10
Updated: 2017-10-10
Packaged: 2019-01-15 20:08:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12327981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/t_dragon/pseuds/t_dragon
Summary: "Has anyone married as a result of a “if we’re still single by (age)” pact? How did it work out?”





	The Marriage Pact

_ “Has anyone married as a result of a “if we’re still single by (age)” pact? How did it work out?” _

 

 The first time they met were at a party. It was not such a big surprise, considering they both loved living the college dream of drinking and partying. No, the surprise lay in the fact that they had managed to never meet before, at least as far as they could remember.

 Byun Baekhyun was twenty years old, born in the spring, blessed with a pretty face and an even prettier voice.

 Park Chanyeol was also twenty years old, but born in the winter, and with an affinity for playing different kinds of instruments.

 And Park Chanyeol was also very tall, which was the first thing that Baekhyun noticed as he basically face-planted himself into the younger’s chest.

 “Whoa, hello there!” a deep voice said, large hands coming up to Baekhyun’s shoulders to stabilize him.

 Letting his head fall back so that he could look up, Baekhyun saw a handsome grinning face surrounded by a cloud of red hair hovering over him.

 “Damn, are you a giant or something?” was what escaped through Baekhyun’s lips, and even his drunk mind realized how stupid it sounded.

 But the grin just widened, a chuckle vibrating through the tall boy and straight into Baekhyun, making him also grin.

 “Nah, you’re just short,” the taller teased, and Baekhyun gasped.

 “Short? For being Asian I’m pretty normal height, thank you very much!” Baekhyun said in an offended tone.

 “Sure, sure…,” the taller said, grin turning into a smirk. “Don’t worry, though, you’re cute, so it’s okay.”

 “Rude!” Baekhyun exclaimed, feeling quite flabbergasted. First insulting, and then flirting?

 “It’s Chanyeol, actually,” the taller said, giving Baekhyun a wink. “And you are…?”

 “Baekhyun,” he answered, noticing that they were still standing with their bodies flush against each other. “Sorry about running into you…”

 “Don’t worry about it, better me than a wall,” Chanyeol said, grin returning. “So, what are you doing, running around on your own?”

 Baekhyun gave an annoyed sigh, remembering why he had been walking through the house used for the party.

 “Trying to find my asshole of a friend who apparently dumped me here,” Baekhyun answered. “You?”

 Chanyeol shrugged, grin softening into a smile. Did he always seem so happy?

 “Looking for something to entertain me, since I’m pretty new and don’t know anybody here. Guess I didn’t have to look, though, you ran straight into my arms!”

 “Are you always this charming?” Baekhyun asked, trying to sound stern, but he was unable to keep the smile from his lips.

 “Some call me charming, some call me annoying, but basically yes,” Chanyeol answered, giving another vibrating chuckle. “I’m thirsty! How about you?”

 Baekhyun gave a shrug, not minding the weight on his shoulders. “I’m always up for more getting drunk, lead the way.”

 That evening was spent talking. They talked a lot, about themselves, their lives, interests and hobbies. Their shared love for music was the topic of many passionate discussions, and many drunk promises were made.

 “Hey, you should call me hyung!” Baekhyun drawled after he found out that the taller was younger than him, almost spilling whatever was in his red cup as he waved it around.

 “You? Hyung? We’re the same age, Baek! There’s a few months between us!” Chanyeol cackled, taking a sip. “Plus, you’re so short no one will believe you’re the hyung!”

 Baekhyun whipped his head around to look at Chanyeol, immediately regretting it as the world began to spin at an insane rate, and he saw three silhouettes of the taller. He did not even realize he was starting to tilt until large hands righted him again.

 “Height has nothing to do with age!” Baekhyun exclaimed, completely ignoring the fact that Chanyeol was what was keeping him upright at the moment. “My grandpa is shorter than me, but older!”

 “Yeah, but when they get old enough, they start to shrink!” Chanyeol said, before bursting out laughing. “Is that what happened to you? You got too old, so you began to shrink? Okay, you’re an old hyung!”

 “Oh, I have never experienced this level of rudeness in my life!” Baekhyun gasped, placing his free hand over his chest.

 It made Chanyeol laugh even harder, losing control over Baekhyun, and they soon found themselves in a mess on the floor, as Baekhyun had pulled the taller with him in his fall. Locking eyes, two seconds went past, before they broke down laughing even harder than before. People shot them strange looks, but they did not care.

 “Oh, no, my eyeliner,” Baekhyun mumbled, drying away his tears and trying to salvage his makeup.

 Chanyeol, who had been laying spread eagle on the floor and trying to catch his breath, repeated Baekhyun’s words and let out a giggle that seemed too cute for such a large body. Baekhyun realized that his eyeliner was lost, and gave in to the laughter again.

 In the end, the both of them were thrown out by the host of the party, for acting strange and spilling their drinks all over the place. Putting their arms around each other and not really knowing who were helping who, they set out towards campus in the chilly night. It was a very long, very crooked, and very loud walk, since Baekhyun decided to show of his vocal skills.

 “How are you hiding that large voice in that small body?” Chanyeol slurred at one point, abruptly putting a stop to Baekhyun’s concert.

 “Yah, you lil’ shit!” Baekhyun exclaimed, trying to jump kick the taller whilst still holding on to him, resulting in them almost crashing into some bushes.

 “Whoa, take it easy, Jackie Chan, if I go down I don’t think I’m getting up,” Chanyeol snickered.

 Baekhyun gave Chanyeol a friendly pat to the cheek, giving something he thought was a smirk. “Don’t you worry, I’ll be able to get you up…”

 Chanyeol’s laughter boomed in the late night, two or three dogs joining in with their barking.

 “I’m sorry, cupcake, but right now, not even you could get me up,” Chanyeol said, and Baekhyun’s inner fighting spirit was awakened.

 Having more control over his body than he had had since he ran into Chanyeol, Baekhyun turned against the taller, burying his face against a neck and running a hand down a hard stomach. Chanyeol sucked in a breath as Baekhyun cupped him, arms tightening around the shorter.

 “ _ Fuck _ , Baek,” Chanyeol rasped, before swiftly picking the other up and throwing him over his shoulder.

 Baekhyun gave a very high shriek, clinging to the taller as the world was thrown upside down and began to move.

 “Which building is yours?” Chanyeol asked, his breathing a bit strained, but if it was from carrying the shorter, speed walking, or being teased, Baekhyun did not know.

 Still trying to get his bearings back, Baekhyun did not answer immediately, and before he knew it, he had received a slap to his backside.

 “Don’t fall asleep on me, Baek,” Chanyeol teased, snickering, but with something urgent in his voice. “Which building?”

 “Five! Building five, third floor, door 536!” Baekhyun called out, to make sure the taller heard him. “Geez, you don’t have to manhandle me!”

 “Sorry,” Chanyeol said over his shoulder, massaging the area he had slapped in a very suggestive way. Baekhyun bit down on his lower lip, both to keep whatever sound he might make in, and to keep his beginning erection from poking the taller’s chest.

 It did not take Chanyeol, with his long legs and rushed speed, long before he was by the door leading into building five, trying to reach into Baekhyun’s pockets for the keys. After some team work, they managed to unlock it and get inside. Instead of waiting for the elevator, Chanyeol went for the stairs, running upwards and making Baekhyun bounce on his shoulder.

 “I might have to puke,” Baekhyun groaned when they emerged on the third floor, and Chanyeol began to search for the right door.

 “Nah, you’re alright,” Chanyeol said, large hand rubbing Baekhyun’s lower back, since that was more or less as far as he could reach. “Oh, look, we’re here! Keys, please!”

 Weakly, Baekhyun held out the keys, dropping them and hoping the taller would catch them. Chanyeol did not, if the sound of keys falling to the floor was any indication.

 “Well, shit,” Chanyeol muttered, before Baekhyun’s world once more tilted. He was getting surprisingly used to it know, and just kept his eyes closed as he felt himself being leaned against the wall.

 They keys jingled, and after a few seconds, the sound of a lock being unlocked was heard. And the next thing Baekhyun knew, the entire world just disappeared, and he yelped as he fell backwards.

 “Oops,” was heard from the taller as Baekhyun’s butt painfully connected with the floor of his entrance, drawing a pained whine from the shorter. “Maybe I should’ve leaned you against the wall instead of the door?”

 “You think?” Baekhyun growled through a clenched jaw, keeping his eyes shut tight to try to force the tears away.

 “Are you okay?” Chanyeol mumbled, hot breath washing over Baekhyun’s face. Even though he smelled like alcohol, Baekhyun did not mind, especially not when soft fingers came up to caress his face.

 “No,” Baekhyun pouted, cracking open one eye to look at the taller who were on his knees in front of him. “I hurt my butt…”

 Chanyeol snickered as he slowly helped the older up. “Aw, do you want me to kiss and blow?”

 “I don’t even know if you’re talking in euphemisms or not anymore, but I don’t care,” Baekhyun deadpanned, wincing slightly as he straightened out.

 “It can be whatever to want, cupcake,” Chanyeol grinned.

 “Oh,” Baekhyun said, taking a firm grip of Chanyeol’s t-shirt with both hands, looking up at the other with a completely serious face. “Well, fuck it then!”

 And then he pulled the other down, smashing their lips together. It was the definition of a hot mess, uncoordinated and sloppy, but both were fine with it.

 Somehow making it into Baekhyun’s bedroom, they collapsed onto his bed, rough hands shedding shirts and running over exposed skin. Chanyeol let his lips drift away from Baekhyun’s lips and down his throat, drawing soft mewls from the shorter.

 Until the kissing and licking came to a stop, and a strange sound filled the room. Forcing his eyes open, Baekhyun turned his head to peek down at the taller, wondering what had happened.

 “Are you fucking kidding me?” he breathed as he realized - Chanyeol had managed to fall asleep.

 Shirtless and with a hand still cupping Baekhyun’s behind, lips against throat, Chanyeol had actually been drunk enough to fall asleep in the middle of foreplay. At least Baekhyun had proved him wrong - he  _ had _ managed to get the taller up, though it did him no good now.

 Groaning in frustration, Baekhyun tried to push the taller off of him, but it was no good. The giant refused to move, keeping the shorter trapped beneath him.

 Staring up into the ceiling, Baekhyun contemplated what he should do now. Not that he could do much, but before he came to any real conclusion, he gave a jawn, closing his eyes and joining Chanyeol in dream land.

 

 “Baek! Wake up, you little shit!”

 Baekhyun jolted awake, feeling like someone had slapped him. Blinking his tired eyes, he looked up to see Jongdae standing next to the bed, lips pursed.

 “What the hell? Leave me alone…,” Baekhyun muttered, trying to turn over on his side but being unable to do it. Why, he had no idea, but he felt a bit like he was being crushed as well.

 “Oh, trust me, I would gladly leave you and your  _ one-night stand _ alone, but you’re in  _ my fucking bed _ ! Your promised this wouldn’t happen again!” Jongdae hissed.

 Lifting his head, Baekhyun realized two things. Firstly, Jongdae was right, he had accidentally stumbled into the other’s bedroom.  _ Again _ . Secondly, the crushing weight on top of him was none other than the giant he had befriended last night, and who had cockblocked them both.

 “Wow, shit, sorry,” Baekhyun said in a weak voice, shooting Jongdae an apologetic smile. “I was a bit wasted yesterday… Lemme just try to wake him up, and we’ll vacate your room.”

 Jongdae just rolled his eyes, stomping out of the room. Baekhyun had no idea why he was so mad - sure, they were in his bed, but it was not as if they had actually done anything? Was that not obvious?

 The breathing against his neck changed, and Baekhyun noticed that Chanyeol began to stir, slowly coming awake. Blinking adorably and frowning against the light, the taller gave a small smile as he looked up at Baekhyun, before groaning.

 “Shit, my head, what did you do to it?” the taller mumbled, and Baekhyun gave a surprised laugh.

 “What did  _ I _ do? Hey, you were the one who made me fall flat onto my ass!” Baekhyun exclaimed, before sobering up a bit. “But, can we have this discussion a little later? We accidentally ended up in my roomies room, and he might actually kill me this time.”

 “It’s happened before?” Chanyeol asked as he slowly rolled off of Baekhyun, letting the shorter take a deep breath.

 “Oh, yeah, alcohol makes coordination hard,” Baekhyun said, sitting up and regretting it as his head split open. “I hate being hungover, ugh…”

 “Same,” Chanyeol, who had also moved into a sitting position, breathed, looking around. “Hey, have you seen my shirt?”

 “Fuck your shirt, I need to go lie down again, let Jongdae find it,” Baekhyun muttered as he got up from the bed and headed towards the door, hearing Chanyeol grunt something behind him, but still follow.

 Inside of Baekhyun’s room, the shorter pulled down the blinds, blessing them with darkness as they collapsed onto the right bed this time.

 “So, dare I ask what happened last night?” Chanyeol suddenly asked.

 “You don’t remember?” Baekhyun snickered, throwing an arm over his eyes. “Guess you were more wasted than me, after all… Nothing happened, you fell asleep on top of me.”

 “Ah, shit man, sorry,” the taller apologized. “I didn’t drink that much, though?”

 “You drank from the punch bowl at a college party, no one is good at handling that stuff. It’s amazing we didn’t get high on some strange painkillers or something, honestly.”

 Chanyeol gave a sigh, rolling over onto his stomach. “True that… I’m sorry, but I’m going to take a nap, I can’t stand this headache…”

 “Do whatever, I’m going to sleep some, too,” Baekhyun answered, and barely five minutes later, they were both sound asleep.

 

 Baekhyun came awake to the feeling of wandering hands. Taking a deep breath, he squinted his eyes open, seeing Chanyeol laying still on his stomach, eyes barely open and running a hand over Baekhyun’s stomach.

 “What?” Baekhyun mumbled, mouth uncomfortable dry, a shiver running down his spine.

 “You got me horny again, but I’m too hungover to do anything about it,” Chanyeol muttered, sounding so annoyed by it that it made Baekhyun give a raspy laugh.

 “You can suffer now, since I had to suffer last night,” Baekhyun teased, ignoring the way his breath hitched as the large hand brushed lower over his abdomen.

 Chanyeol laughed. “I told you I was sorry about it! Help me help you?”

 “Sorry to break it to you, but I’m not faring much better than you,” Baekhyun answered, chuckling at Chanyeol’s puppy-like whine.

 “Hey, guys, I bought some pizza and coke for the hangover, join me in the livingroom!” came Jongdae’s voice suddenly, coupled by a few hard knocks on Baekhyun’s bedroom door. Baekhyun gave a smile - Jongdae truly was the best friend anyone could have.

 “Coke? Isn’t that a drug?” Chanyeol asked as Baekhyun rolled out of bed and went to search for something to wear on his upper body.

 “No, of course not! It’s Coca Cola,” Baekhyun said, cackling and pulling out a black hoodie from a pile. “Try this on, I think it might be large enough for you.”

 Chanyeol caught the flying hoodie and held it up, tilting his head and frowning at the front of the piece of clothing.

 “Wow, this isn’t subtle at all,” Chanyeol said, and Baekhyun turned to look.

 ‘Sexual Fantasies’ were spelled out in red letters across the front of the black hoodie, and Baekhyun burst out laughing.

 “I’m sorry, I have no idea where it’s from, and I had no idea it said that,” Baekhyun tried to explain, still laughing. “It fits you, though!”

 “The size, or the text?” Chanyeol mumbled, turning the hoodie around again to look at it.

 “Both?” Baekhyun suggested, and Chanyeol cracked a grin, pulling the hoodie over his head.

 “Well, shit, it’s comfortable,” Chanyeol said, throwing his legs over the edge of the bed and standing up and stretching. “Ugh, this headache… Do you have any painkillers?”

 “Sure, follow me,” Baekhyun said, struggling with his own shirt, before leading the way outside.

 Jongdae was sitting in the sofa, large carton in front of him, as well as two bottles of coke and three glasses.

 “Nice,” he said, pointing at Chanyeol’s hoodie, and Baekhyun cackled again.

 “Sit down, and I’ll get the painkillers,” Baekhyun told Chanyeol, before leaving him.

 “Hi, I’m Chanyeol,” the taller said, reaching out a hand towards Jongdae.

 “Nice to meet you, I’m Jongdae,” the other said, eyeing the hand suspiciously before taking it.

 “Sorry about crashing in your bed last night,” Chanyeol said as he sat down, stomach growling as he smelled the food.

 Jongdae waved a hand dismissively. “Ah, don’t worry about it! It isn’t the first time it’s happened, and it didn’t seem like you did anything other than sleep, so.”

 Baekhyun returned, throwing a package of painkillers into Chanyeol’s lap before collapsing into the sofa next to him.

 “Let’s eat!” he announced, reaching for the pizza carton and opening it. “Oh, yes,  _ daddy _ !”

 “Keep your nasty kinks out of our eating!” Jongdae complained, as he began to pour the soda into the glasses.

 Baekhyun lifted a slice to his mouth and took a bite, moaning as he chewed. “But it’s so  _ good _ ! Pizza is everyone’s kink!”

 Chanyeol also reached for a slice, sighing as he tasted the food on his tongue and nodding absentmindedly to Baekhyun’s words. Taking the glass Jongdae offered him, he took a deep gulp, almost emptying it, and gave another content sigh.

 “See?” Baekhyun chipped, pointing at the taller. “He agrees!”

 Chanyeol wolfed down his slice, remembering the painkillers in his lap. Baekhyun and Jongdae argued around him as he swallowed the pills, relaxing a little bit as he knew his hangover soon would be much better.

 “So, how old are you, Chanyeol?” Jongdae asked after a while.

 “Same as Baek,” Chanyeol answered, reaching for another slice and devouring it.

 “No, you’re not, I’m several months older than you!” Baekhyun interrupted. “Almost a whole year!”

 “Yeah, but you’re so short it doesn’t count,” Chanyeol snickered, shutting up with a whine as Baekhyun punched him in the arm.

 “Rude!” Baekhyun exclaimed.

 “He tried to make you call him hyung, huh?” Jongdae asked, knowing smile on his lips. “He refused to talk to me for a week after I laughed him straight in the face when he suggested it…”

 Chanyeol laughed, glancing over at Baekhyun who were pouting and nomming on a slice of pizza. He looked like a sad puppy, and Chanyeol could not keep himself from reaching over and ruffling the shorter’s hair.

 “Don’t pout, I’m just messing with you,” Chanyeol cooed, dodging the hand that came up to swat at him.

 The rest of their very late lunch went past pleasantly, and Chanyeol learned that Jongdae was made from the same material as Baekhyun - sassy, talkative and a bit bitchy, though Jongdae was slightly more calm than his friend. He was also a singer, having an interest in music, leading to them continuing some of the discussions Chanyeol and Baekhyun had started the night before.

 And when Chanyeol noticed the PlayStation and the Tekken game, a grin spread on his lips.

 “You play?” he asked, pointing towards the console.

 Both Baekhyun and Jongdae turned to look.

 “We have some tournaments sometimes, loser gets to drink,” Jongdae explained as Baekhyun nodded.

 Chanyeol’s grin widened.

 “I bet I can get you both beneath the table before I take a single sip.”

 Baekhyun sat up straight, ears perking up and a dangerous glint in his eyes.

 “Deal,” he said, offering the giant his hand, as Jongdae groaned.

 “I’m not even over my hangover yet, and we’re already starting to drink?” he complained, but no one was paying him any attention.

 “Fire it up, and I’ll get the beer!” Baekhyun called out as he sprang from the sofa, hurrying into the kitchen. Chanyeol moved to do as he was told, and with a sigh, Jongdae turned the TV on.

 “Well, at least it’s a Saturday,” Jongdae muttered as he took the last slice of pizza, giving the carton to Baekhyun to make place on the table for the alcohol.

 

 At six o’clock, Jongdae was sleeping in the sofa, curled up like a kitten, whilst both Baekhyun and Chanyeol were seated on the floor in front of the coffee table. They were holding a controller each, spamming the buttons furiously. In the beginning, it had all been about perfectly executing the different combos, but by now, Chanyeol was tipsy, and Baekhyun drunk, so they had moved on to button mashing.

 “Yes! Fuck yes!” Baekhyun called out, throwing both hands into the air as Chanyeol groaned and dropped his head into his hands. “I got you, bitch! Drink that motherfucker! Whoop! Jongdae, did you see that? I  _ owned _ him!”

 “Jongdae has been asleep for like an hour,” Chanyeol snickered, before emptying his half-full bottle of beer. “Another one?”

 Baekhyun fell down onto his back, stretching his arms and legs out and shaking his head.

 “I need a pee break, and my fingers are hurting…,” he pouted.

 “Aw, my poor little puppy, do you want me to kiss and blow?” Chanyeol cooed, his lips smiling but his eyes smirking.

 Baekhyun sat up on his elbows, cocking his head to the side.

 “There you go again, being all confusing. Are you teasing, or flirting?” he asked.

 Suddenly, Chanyeol was lying on top of him, lips millimeters away from Baekhyun’s.

 “Maybe both,” the taller breathed, before smashing their lips together, making them collapse completely on the floor.

 This time around they were not as far gone, and it did not take long before Baekhyun’s body had awoken.

 Pushing the taller away, he quickly rolled out from underneath him.

 “Meet me in the bedroom,” he said over his shoulder, before running into the bathroom, coming to a sliding stop.

 Never in his life had Baekhyun peed that fast, nor that amount at the same time, and he felt a bit lightheaded by the end of it. But he ignored it as he washed his hands and set off for his bedroom.

 Chanyeol was there, sitting on the bed and pulling the hoodie over his head. Baekhyun licked his lips as yummy abs were revealed, before looking up into lust-blown eyes.

 “That went fast,” Chanyeol noted, but his lips soon found better things to busy themselves with as Baekhyun straddled his lap.

 Baekhyun was sure they set a new record for getting rid of clothes, as they were on him, and then in the next moment, they were laying on his floor, and he was laying on top of Chanyeol, skin against skin. Hands were roaming over flesh, exploring and exciting, temperatures rising dangerously. Mouths kissed and licked and nibbled, until they were both going insane.

 Moans and gasps echoed in the small room, and in the end, Baekhyun did not know where he ended and Chanyeol began, but he loved it. It was as if the taller knew exactly which buttons to push to bring the shorter to the edge and keep him there, prolonging the pleasure until it all exploded into pure bliss.

 As Baekhyun tried to return his breathing to normal, body and mind sinking back down to earth, he was all smiles.

 “Well, damn, giant, not bad,” he said a bit breathlessly, patting Chanyeol’s shoulder.

 The taller just laughed, before rolling over onto his side and pulling Baekhyun against him, strong arms holding the shorter gently.

 It did not take much more than that for Baekhyun and Jongdae to welcome Chanyeol into their lives with open arms and hearts.

 

 Chanyeol was sitting in the sofa, enjoying the world softly spinning and watching people walk around him, when he heard Baekhyun and Jongdae coming closer. They were arguing about something, but that was nothing new.

 “I swear on everything! It’s the best!” Baekhyun said, and Chanyeol briefly wondered what he was talking about.

 But in the next moment, he had a Jongdae straddling him, and, curious, Chanyeol looked at the smaller man, head tilted dangerously to the side.

 “Hello, my drunk little giant!” Jongdae said, cat grin stretched wide. Chanyeol was about to point out that ‘little giant’ was a contradiction, but did not find the strength to bother.

 Instead, he asked what Jongdae was up to. Because Jongdae was always up to something, especially when he was drunk.

 “I’m performing an experiment with Baekhyun,” Jongdae answered, laughing. “He’s claiming you’re the best kisser he’s ever had, so I was wondering if I could try you out?”

 Chanyeol raised both eyebrows, looking over at Baekhyun who were watching them intently, before shrugging.

 “Sure, why not,” Chanyeol drawled, putting his hand behind Jongdae’s head and pulling him in.

 Jongdae tasted of alcohol and smoke, and he did not kiss like Baekhyun. There was no insane urgency, no trying to dominate, but it was still nice, and when Chanyeol finally pulled back, his head was spinning even more.

 Leaning back with eyes hooded, Jongdae licked his lips, smirking.

 “Hm, not bad, not bad at all…,” Jongdae hummed, looking over at Baekhyun. “He’s top three, that’s for sure.”

 “Who else are on the list?” Chanyeol asked, feeling pride well in his chest at the compliment.

 Jongdae’s smirk widened, eyes sparkling. “You, Baek, and me.”

 Chanyeol thought about that for a while, before bursting out laughing.

 “Okay, I think I can agree to that.”

 Jongdae winked at him, before getting up from his lap and heading off, mumbling something about the need to sample something else, and Baekhyun sank down into the couch next to Chanyeol, throwing one leg over his lap.

 “So, what’s the deal with him?” Chanyeol asked, nodding after Jongdae. “I mean, his sexuality?”

 Baekhyun raised his brows, taking a sip from his cup before answering.

 “Oh, yeah, well, he’s an enigma. I’m not sure, actually. I mean, I’m quite fluid in my preferences, but Jongdae is a whole other species. I think he doesn’t see gender the same way as other does. I just think he sees personalities, and gets turned on or off based on them. Girl, boy, neither, whatever. If bestiality was legal, he might even give that a try,” Baekhyun explained, downing the rest of his drink. “He’s basically the perfect person, not giving a shit about what’s between your legs, as long as your personality is nice.”

 “Huh. Well, I be damned,” Chanyeol said, before looking down at Baekhyun. “You’re a better kisser, though.”

 The smile Baekhyun gave him could have lit up the entire world. And the kiss that followed made Chanyeol lose his eyesight for a moment.

 

 Later that night, Jongdae returned, announcing that one person had made it into his top five. Baekhyun had asked if the person had come close to the honorary mention, but Jongdae had shot him a look before shaking his head, seemingly sobering up substantially. When Chanyeol asked about it, Baekhyun just waved it away, claiming it to be a sucky inside joke, but the taller had seen the look in Jongdae’s eyes. And that look was the reason for why Chanyeol did not press the subject.

 

 The next three years were the best years in their lives. The Beagle line, as they were “lovingly” known as, were almost always together, and everyone knew that where Baekhyun was, Chanyeol was not far away. And probably not Jongdae either. Many weekends were spent at parties, drinking and having fun. Some nights they ended up in bed with strangers or near-strangers, and some nights, Baekhyun and Chanyeol ended up in the same bed.

 For the most part, they did not try to put a name or label on their relationship. They were close friends and sometimes lovers, and that was good enough for them. But a few times, they did have conversations about them and what they were. Each and every time, though, they concluded that what they had was perfect for them, and that at the moment, they did not want to change anything. Maybe they would become exclusive in the future, but right now, they were having the time of their lives, and everything was good.

 Until tragedy struck.

 It was in April, when the rain poured every other day, lending a heavy and dark atmosphere to the spring. Chanyeol was, as per usual, hanging out in Baekhyun and Jongdae’s dorm, whipping them both at Tekken, when his phone rang. Frowning at the caller ID, he had gotten up from the couch and walked into the kitchen to answer, and the two other had thought nothing more of it.

 Until a crash was heard, and the unmistaken sound of sobbing. Quickly jumping from his seat, Baekhyun had rushed into the kitchen, finding Chanyeol kneeling on the floor amongst the shards of a glass, bloody and trembling hand pressed against his mouth.

 “Shit, Yeol, don’t move,” Baekhyun had said, calling for Jongdae to help.

 Even then, Baekhyun had thought that it was the shock from breaking the glass and then cutting himself on it that had Chanyeol in the broken state he now was in. But, oh, how wrong he had been.

 Baekhyun and Jongdae had made quick work of cleaning up the crystal shards, and it was then, when Baekhyun kneeled in front of Chanyeol to take care of his hand, that the shorter realized that something was wrong. That something was horribly wrong.

 One hand holding Chanyeol’s bloodied one, the other on his cheek, Baekhyun had tried to make contact with the taller, but it was as if he had disappeared into himself. His gaze was completely empty, tears streaming down his face and breathing strained.

 “Yeollie? What’s wrong?” Baekhyun tried, but he got no response.

 Jongdae took over taking care of Chanyeol’s hand, as Baekhyun wrapped his arms around the taller, bringing him into a tight embrace. A large hand came up to fist into the fabric covering Baekhyun’s back as the giant broke down, ugly crying against Baekhyun’s shoulder.

 After a few tries, Baekhyun managed to gather that there had been a car accident, where both of Chanyeol’s sisters had died. Instantly, dead at arrival to the hospital, apparently. Baekhyun was not that close to his brother, but his eyes still teared up as he thought about it, and it was obvious Chanyeol loved his sisters dearly.

 After Jongdae had cleaned up the wounds on Chanyeol’s hand, and Chanyeol had cried himself dry, they had helped him over to the sofa where he collapsed, falling asleep from exhaustion and heartbreak. Baekhyun’s own heart was aching at the sight, and he cried silently for a little while in Jongdae’s arms, before collecting himself to be strong for Chanyeol.

 The next week was the most horrible week Baekhyun had ever experienced. Chanyeol more or less moved in with them, sleeping in Baekhyun’s bed. Most nights, he was plagued by nightmares, waking up crying and gasping for air. Baekhyun tried to so whatever he could, but he was at a loss with what to do. Chanyeol had lost his sisters in a tragic accident, what could Baekhyun even do to make it better? Nothing, was the answer. All he could do was hold the taller as he cried himself back to sleep, force him to eat even though his appetite was completely gone, and make sure he just kept living.

 It scared Baekhyun, seeing the once so happy and carefree giant so broken down. It was a reminder that life was unfair, and could pull you down into the abyss at any moment. Even when you were soaring high over the clouds, thinking you were invincible. It made Baekhyun call his parents and brother, and tell them that he loved them, which he had not done in a long time.

 “I’m moving home,” Chanyeol had said quietly one night, surprising both Baekhyun and Jongdae.

 The taller barely talked anymore, and his voice was rough and scratchy from disuse, and from crying so much.

 “Why?” Baekhyun had blurted out, biting his tongue at the stupid question. Of course it was not strange for Chanyeol to move home after the death of both of his sisters.

 “My dad is… He’s not doing well,” Chanyeol had said, taking a deep breath. “He’s apparently not eating properly, and… I can’t stand losing him now, too.”

 “Of course,” Jongdae had said, giving Chanyeol a soft smile and shooting Baekhyun a look. “We’ll help you pack and get everything home.”

 Chanyeol had thanked them, smiling though it did not reach his eyes, before excusing himself to go lie down on Baekhyun’s bed. That was what he did nowadays - sleep and cry and stare emotionless at walls.

 “I hate this,” Baekhyun had muttered, stabbing at his food and making some of it spill out. Instead of saying anything, Jongdae had just nodded, looking down at his own food.

 No, nothing was the same anymore. The death of two innocent girls had cracked the lives of so many people, destroying some.

 The next day, Chanyeol had packed all of his belongings with the help of Baekhyun and Jongdae, before packing it into rented van. He had barely looked at them as he said goodbye, not even hugging them. But Baekhyun was fine with this. Because Baekhyun knew that he would break down if Chanyeol touched him. He would cling to the giant, begging him not to go. But that was not what he needed right now. Chanyeol needed to go home, take care of his dad, and heal.

 No matter how much Baekhyun wished that he could hold Chanyeol and making everything okay again, he knew he was unable to do that. It was not in his powers, and so, he let the giant go, without a proper goodbye or hug, even though his stomach churned darkly with premonition.

 

 For the next two years, Baekhyun did not hear a single thing from Chanyeol. Neither did Jongdae, but Baekhyun was feeling more hurt by it. He and Chanyeol had been closer, after all. Friends, lovers. But not a single text, not a single word.

 Until he found a tall, black-haired man standing outside of his new apartment. The man had smiled at him, and even though it was not the bright grin from the past, it was enough for Baekhyun to recognize him.

 Life had been hard on Park Chanyeol. He was no longer the same man that Baekhyun had bumped into five years ago. Instead of being filled with happiness and a strong will to experience all he could in his life, he was now filled with sadness and a heavy darkness that almost choked Baekhyun from just standing in front of him.

 “Hey, Baek,” Chanyeol said, deep voice so alike Baekhyun’s memory of it, but at the same time so different. So worn, so tired.

 Baekhyun was unable to form any words, so he let his actions speak for him. Throwing his arms around the taller’s shoulder, he had gotten up on the tip of his toes, hugging the other so, so hard. And even though he had squeezed his eyes shut, the tears had still managed to leak.

 When he finally pulled back, Baekhyun had noticed that Chanyeol’s own eyes were red, streaks of wetness going down his cheeks, though his smile had been a bit easier, a bit softer.

 “You little shit,” Baekhyun had growled then, punching the taller’s arm. He knew he was being stupid and unreasonable, but he could not hold his hurt tongue.

 Chanyeol had just smiled, sighing softly and letting his thumb run over the shorter’s cheekbone.

 “Sorry I broke it off like that,” Chanyeol said, but Baekhyun shook his head.

 “Don’t apologize. I’m hurt, but not mad. You had to do what you had to do,” Baekhyun answered, shrugging and wiping his tears. “Do you want to come inside?”

 Chanyeol nodded, and Baekhyun unlocked the door for him.

 “How’s Jongdae?” Chanyeol asked as he walked around the tiny apartment, taking it in.

 “Just fine. He moved to China, but we still hang out every now and then. Play online with each other every Sunday,” Baekhyun answered, looking through his mail as he walked to the kitchen. “Can I get you something? Water, soda, beer?”

 “It is Friday, so beer?” Chanyeol said, coming to sit by the kitchen island and watching Baekhyun move around.

 Placing two bottles of beer on the counter, Baekhyun had thrown Chanyeol the opener, as he himself had gone to his bedroom to change out of his suit. When he returned, Chanyeol was sitting in the sofa, jacket off and one beer bottle in his hand, the other standing on the table in front of him.

 “Sexual fantasies,” Baekhyun read, grinning at the hoodie he had given Chanyeol within twentyfour hours of knowing each other. “Didn’t know you kept it.”

 “Of course I did, it reminded me of you,” Chanyeol said, and his grin almost looked like his old ones. But not quite, and the never-healed crack in Baekhyun’s heart opened a bit more.

 Collapsing into the sofa, Baekhyun took his bottle of beer and drank some from it, wanting the liquid courage to steady himself.

 “So, how have you been?” Baekhyun finally asked. Maybe it was a stupid question, and maybe there was other, better, questions he could ask, but it was all he could think off.

 “Not good,” Chanyeol answered, giving a sad smile. “It’s been… hard. It still is. It’s been two years, and I still find myself about to call them, to ask about their day, just talk… In the beginning, I used to call their phones, just to hear their recorded voices, but now they’re turned off, so… I can’t do that anymore.”

 Baekhyun swallowed his pain, trying to force words past the lump in his throat.

 “How’s your dad?” he asked, hating how messy his voice sounded.

 Chanyeol shrugged, eyes unfocused. “Like you would expect someone who have lost both his wife and his two daughters. Alive, at least. Though I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to be…”

 Needing to do something, anything, Baekhyun reached out and took Chanyeol’s hand in his, holding it firmly, and hating how he could not do more.

 Baekhyun wished he could whatever, anything, just to turn back time and prevent the accident, making sure Chanyeol never would have to experience this pain. To protect the giant’s kind heart from all the evil in the world. But he could not, and it angered him so much.

 It was then and there that Baekhyun realized something he had suspected, but ignored, for a long time now. His feelings were more than platonic, more than just lust. He was in love with Chanyeol, and it did not surprise him in the least.

 “I’m so sorry, so sorry about everything that has happened to you,” he whispered through a clenched jaw, grip tightening.

 “Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault.”

 “I wish I could do something - anything - to help…”

 “You can’t. What’s happened has happened, and that’s it.”

 The tears rose in Baekhyun’s eyes again, and he knew that the grip was painful, but he could not stop himself.

 “Then let me do whatever I can now. Stay, let me take care of you, let me help you heal,” he pleaded, begging Chanyeol to understand.

 “I can’t.”

 Two small words, but they tore through Baekhyun like nothing before.

 “I can’t, Baek. I’m so insanely broken, I can’t. Just the thought of letting someone in right now makes me want to puke. I can’t stand it, because all I can think of is how I keep losing every single important person to me. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

 And even though he felt as if his heart was suddenly missing, Baekhyun nodded. Because he understood. He might not like it, fuck, he  _ hated _ it, but he understood. He was not stupid. And did he really want those events hanging over their relationship? Weighting them down?

 “I can’t feel properly, Baek. I just feel so empty most of the time. I’m a black hole, and I don’t want to put that on you. Maybe I’ll be better in a few years. Maybe I’ll never be better. All I know is that right now, I can’t, no matter how much I want to.”

 “I’ll wait.”

 Baekhyun surprised the both of them with that statement, but it felt right, so he continued on.

 “Let’s make a pact. If we’re still single when you turn thirty, and we both still feel the same, we’ll marry, okay?” Baekhyun suggested, so afraid he could barely even look at Chanyeol.

 But the taller gave the sweetest smile Baekhyun had seen in over two years, nodding.

 “It’s a deal. If things are better in five years, I’ll marry you,” Chanyeol said, holding up his little finger. “I promise.”

 Baekhyun hooked his finger with Chanyeol’s, grinning even though tears threatened to fall.

 The next two hours of their borrowed time was spent mostly in silence, just taking the other in before the clock struck and the magic disappeared. Before Chanyeol left, he had leaned down and kissed Baekhyun. It was chaste and shy, but Baekhyun loved it. And he made sure to guard the feeling of the taller’s lips against his own in his heart, never to forget it.

 And then, just like that, Chanyeol was gone once more, this time taking the rest of Baekhyun’s broken heart with him.

 

 To get away from it all, Baekhyun moved to China, sharing an apartment with Jongdae. Chanyeol had returned to his father’s home, a few hours away from Seoul, but Baekhyun felt that he needed to get further away. And so, when Jongdae had suggested he come visit, Baekhyun had made it a bit more permanent.

 For the first two years, Baekhyun and Chanyeol once more had no contact what so ever. But suddenly, a handwritten letter from the giant found its way into Baekhyun’s mail, and they began to exchange letters. The letters were mostly filled with drivel, about their daily lives and things they found interesting, nothing about their feelings or relationships, but they both prefered it that way. Every now and then, they would email, but for the most part, they kept to the letters, not even adding the other on their SNS’s.

 One time, Baekhyun read a book that had such a deep impact on him that he just had to mail it to Chanyeol, urging the younger to read it. And he did, sending another book back, this starting a sort of book circle, where they shared great books they came across.

 When Baekhyun turned 29, four years after they pinky-promised their pact, he once more brought up the subject. He told Chanyeol that he had not found anyone else, but did not mention that he thought it would be impossible, since he was still aching at the thought of the taller, butterflies fluttering in his belly every time he got another letter.

 Chanyeol quickly responded back, telling Baekhyun that he also had not fallen for anyone else, also failing to mention that the thoughts of the shorter had helped him through so many dark days. And when Baekhyun asked how he was doing, Chanyeol told him that he was doing fine now. That he had started to feel again, and wanted to see Baekhyun.

 That was all that it took, and Baekhyun soon found himself moving back to South Korea, and into a new apartment just across from where Chanyeol had moved in. And when the taller picked him up at the airport, wrapping his long arms around the him and pulling him close, Baekhyun felt as if he could breathe a little easier again.

 Barely two months together went past before they realized that everything that had been there before still existed, and Baekhyun moved into Chanyeol’s apartment. It was not the same as it had been during their first years, but it was getting close. Nothing could bring back the same carefree giant from the beginning of his twenties, but he was doing much better. His grin was almost as bright, and Baekhyun’s heart soared every time he saw it.

 Chanyeol slept with his arms securely around Baekhyun, stole kisses whenever he got the chance, and made sure to kiss and blow every time Baekhyun hurt himself. Or whenever Baekhyun wanted it.

 Baekhyun spent as much time as he could in Chanyeol’s lap, pouted at least once every day to get kisses, and made sure to tell Chanyeol how much he loved him every time the taller was about to fall asleep. Or when he was seconds away from exploding inside of the shorter.

 

 When Baekhyun turned thirty, he proposed to Chanyeol. It was nothing big, just a homecooked meal and dessert, and a thin platinum band, but it was enough for them both. Chanyeol had cracked the happiest smile Baekhyun had seen in almost ten years, tears making his eyes sparkle.

 “Isn’t this a bit unfair?” Chanyeol asked, his voice hoarser than normal as he looked down at Baekhyun standing on one knee in front of him. “I’m not thirty yet, Baek!”

 Baekhyun was nervous, trembling like a leaf, but he tried to ignore it.

 “Yeah, I know, but it was that we would get married when you turned thirty, so we can get engaged now, right?” Baekhyun explained, his voice sounding much calmer than he felt.

 For the barest moment, Baekhyun’s heart sank as Chanyeol shook his head, but the chuckle from the taller soon made him relax again.

 “I guess, yeah, sure,” Chanyeol mumbled, a single tear escaping his eyes. “Yes!”

 Standing up and letting out the breath he had been holding, Baekhyun placed a hand over his wildly beating heart.

 “Holy shit, that was scary…”

 “Yah, give me my ring!” Chanyeol exclaimed, chuckle turning into a laughter as he held out one large hand.

 Baekhyun’s cheeks were hurting from how wide his smile was, as he plucked the larger ring from the velvet box and slowly thread it over Chanyeol’s left ring finger. They were both shaking, but in the end, the ring was firmly around the bottom of the finger. Chanyeol admired it for a second, before he reached for the smaller ring in the box and waved for Baekhyun to hold up his hand. Baekhyun did as he was told, a shudder running down his spine as the cold metal slid into place.

 Chanyeol had barely released him before Baekhyun placed both his hands against the taller’s cheeks, leaning in for a passionate kiss.

 “Thank you for letting me wait for you,” the shorter mumbled. “I’m so proud of you!”

 “Thank you for waiting for me,” the taller whispered back, another tear running down his cheeks. “Thank you for being there for me.”

 Laughing and crying, the couple kissed and looked at their rings, both almost not believing that this was actually happening. They had made it, they were here together, they were engaged. And soon, they would be married.

 

_  Baekhyun stared at the text on the screen in front of him. It was all blurry, and he was a bit surprised to find out it was because of him crying so hard. But he had to finish this. Get their story out. He needed it off of his chest, shown to the anonymous people of the internet. _

_  He needed to tell the story of the greatest sorrow of his life. _

 

 It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, and Baekhyun was singing along to a song on the radio when the doorbell rang. Getting up from his laptop, he more or less skipped over to the door, opening with a smile on his face.

 A smile that froze when he saw the policemen standing outside of the apartment, solemn looks on their faces.

 “Byun Baekhyun?” one of them asked, and all Baekhyun could do was nod. He had no idea where his voice had gone. “I’m sorry to tell you, but your fiance was hit by a car-”

 All the blood rushed from Baekhyun’s head, and he could no longer hear what they were saying. His legs apparently stopped working, because suddenly, he was on the floor, not knowing how he ended up there.

 “-he’s in the ICU-”

 “He’s alive?” Baekhyun managed to gasp, looking up at the policeman who had kneeled down in front of him, looking at him worriedly, a gloved hand on a shaking shoulder.

 “Well, yes, but his condition isn’t good,” the policeman answered, eyes filled with sympathy. “Do you want us to give you a ride there?”

 Baekhyun barely had the time to nod before getting up and rushing to gather his things. The only thought in his mind was ‘ _ Hold on, Yeol, I’m coming _ ’, small buds of hope rooting in his chest. He was still alive. He could make it.  _ He could survive. _

 

 The hospital was awful. It smelled weird and sounded weird, and Baekhyun hated it. And he hated the tubes that went down Chanyeol’s throat, keeping him breathing. He hated the tubes going into his arms, feeding him whatever medication he needed. He hated the steady beeping of machines that told all different kinds of information, the most important being that Chanyeol was still alive, still there, still fighting.

 But most of all, he hated seeing Chanyeol lying so pale, paler than his silver hair he had recently dyed. He had said that he did not want to be black-haired anymore, it was connected to one of the most horrific episodes of his life, and now he was in a new, better part, and needed a new, different color. Baekhyun thought Chanyeol looked handsome no matter which color his hair was, but he agreed that silver was a good choice.

 Chanyeol’s entire left ribcage was bruised, deep purple, blue and yellow mixing together horribly, and Baekhyun felt nauseous just looking at it. His head was wrapped in bandage, but some of the silvery tips of hair were still stained red, leaving no doubt for what would be found beneath the stark white bandage.

 A drunk driver had hit him, apparently. Baekhyun found it disturbingly ironic how all three siblings had been involved in car accidents, but he did not say this to the frail old man who introduced himself as Chanyeol’s father.

 Chanyeol’s father, who barely had the strength to come visit his own son for more than ten minutes at a time. Chanyeol’s father, who might lose his last son, the last remnant of his family.

 For one night and two days, Baekhyun stayed by Chanyeol’s side. He barely left for bathroom breaks, and only ate whatever the nurses brought him. Once he had gone out to text Jongdae and let him know what had happened, but Chanyeol’s condition had worsened after that, and Baekhyun had no longer dared leave the man.

 On the second day, the machines started to beep differently, and the bed where Chanyeol rested on was suddenly surrounded by people, pushing Baekhyun away. They shouted over each other, checking things, putting needles in the taller man, pulling out the defibrillator, everything being total chaos.

 Baekhyun could do nothing else but stare in shock as the love of his life slipped away, dying in front of him. His body gave out, they would say. His body could not take it, the impact had been too great, it was unable to heal. Baekhyun refused to listen. Baekhyun screamed and cried, but Chanyeol was gone. They put a white sheet over him and took him away, never to return again.

 Chanyeol had always returned to Baekhyun, but not this time.

 That night, when Baekhyun finally made it home, he was so tired of everything. In a fit of rage over the unfairness of the world, he had screamed, before he had thrown a lamp to the ground. But it was not enough. He put his foot through their glass coffee table., thousands of tiny crystals scattering over the floor. He swept his laptop from the kitchen island, taking delight in the way the screen cracked and bended. He was a hurricane, tearing through their apartment and leaving nothing but destruction in his wake, until a pair of arms wrapped themselves around him, holding him back.

 For a whole second, he though Chanyeol had returned to him. But then he noticed how short the arms were, how short the person holding him was, and he gave a heartbreaking shriek, giving in to his tears as reality crashed down once more upon him.

 All Jongdae did was to hold him. Because Jongdae knew there was nothing he could say, just as Baekhyun had known all those years ago when Chanyeol’s sisters had died. There was nothing else he could do than hold him, and let him cry all of his pain out. It would never disappear, but maybe become a little more bearable.

 

 A week later, it was time for Chanyeol’s funeral. Baekhyun went, feeling strangely empty inside, never letting go of his death grip on Jongdae’s hand. He wondered if this was how Chanyeol had felt, when he had attended the funeral of his sisters’. Baekhyun wished he would never have found out. He wished he had had the chance to live his life blissfully unaware of what it felt like losing someone that important to you. He wished he would never feel again.

 It had been an open casket, for some reason. Baekhyun had barely managed to leave his snow-white rose on top of Chanyeol’s chest, over his crossed hands. Just a glimpse of the peaceful, handsome face surrounded by a cloud of silver hair that reminded him so much of the first time they met was too much. It looked like he was sleeping, and Baekhyun wanted nothing more than for the taller to wake up and look at him with a soft smile on those beautiful, full lips.

 But that would never happen, and Baekhyun hurried away from the casket, collapsing into his chair next to Jongdae as he pulled on his tie, feeling as if he could not breathe.

 Baekhyun had not been able to breathe properly since the policemen had shown up on his doorstep. He doubted he would ever breathe easily again.

 They moved outside, into the light rain, to lower the casket. Baekhyun found the weather very fitting of his mood, and it helped hide his tears. Not that he bothered trying to hide them anyway.

 When the casket had been lowered, Baekhyun helped Chanyeol’s father over to the grave, to throw a handful of dirt into it. The man seemed to have aged at least ten years since last they saw each other, and Baekhyun absentmindedly wondered if the man looked forty years older than what he really was - ten years for every family member lost. As they stood and watched the grave being filled, Baekhyun talked in a low voice with Chanyeol’s father. He did not know what he was saying, and he did not know if the man actually answered him, but he felt like it was the right thing to do. Share their loss, or something.

 After it was all said and done, Baekhyun and Jongdae slowly made their way back towards the parking lot, Baekhyun’s mind a jumbled mess. The image of silver strands sticking out of black dirt flashed by his eyes, and all of a sudden, he set off running. Finding a tree, he threw himself at it, clinging to it, before puking. Heaving up whatever his empty stomach could produce, the acid burned his throat as the tears burned his eyes, and Baekhyun choked on both.

 A hand landed on his back, rubbing slow circles up and down it. Jongdae was trying to calm him down, but Baekhyun knew it was a lost cause.

 After a few minutes, Baekhyun was unable to get anything else up, but it took him at least half an hour for the shaking to subside enough for him to be able to move over to the car. When they got home to Baekhyun’s apartment, the older collapsed into the bed, breathing in the lingering scent of Chanyeol and falling into a restless, exhausted sleep.

 

_  That was four years ago. _

_  Four years ago since he had proposed to the love of his life. Four years since he had lost him in a mindless accident, easily preventable. Baekhyun had been barely alive during those four years, an empty, emotionless shell of his former self. If it had not been for Chanyeol’s strength, he might not even have been alive. _

_  Because Chanyeol had lost so much, but had still managed to get back. He had started to heal, started to feel, and Baekhyun knew he could not give up so easily. If he did, he would soil Chanyeol’s memory. So Baekhyun tried to stay strong. He went to therapy to try to start feeling something again. To start living again. He was 34 years old now, felt like 64 and knew that he might never be completely alright again, but he tried. Maybe one day he would be able to say that he was okay. Maybe one day, Jongdae would not have to worry about his best friend anymore. _

_  Maybe one day, Chanyeol’s memory would not hurt Baekhyun so bad anymore. Maybe one day, Baekhyun could look back at the time they had with each other, feeling more happiness than sadness that they got to spend at least a part of their lives together. _

_  Maybe one day, Baekhyun might be able to color his silver hair red, and let go of the love of his life. _

 

**Author's Note:**

> This was spawned because of a tweet from a Reddit post that I saw a long while back. Yes, I cried as I wrote it, probably harder than I ever have and ever will cry over something I'm writing. This was just so painful, and not being able to give it a happy ending - ugh. I mean, I love writing angst, but this was a bit too much.
> 
> The tweet: https://twitter.com/unicornchanbaek/status/872336873435353088


End file.
